Punk, Penis Envy and Playfulness

Punk was the clearest articulation of my teenage feelings. Don't fit in? Good, create your own independent life, away from the straight world. Won't settle for the role allocated to you? Good, stand up for what you want to be.

Punk was and is all about the moment. The momentary rush of energy, of realisation, of identity. And whatever cultural boundaries and barriers punk itself reinstituted, the tautology remains that the boundaries created by punk are not, by definition, punk.

I came to punk as part of the third wave - post both the '76 launchpad, and also the early 80s purification-by-hardcore. The third wave was a sheer eruption of speed and aggression that paradoxically united my masculine identity with the freedom to feel life as it is, an essentially feminine expression of the richness and joy in creation. 

Psychology and spirituality aside for a moment, I was aware of the paradox of seeing this aggressive music and atmosphere as liberating. And I luxuriated in that same paradox. Perhaps it was the freshness of youth, the excitement of personal discovery. But it was an authentic integation of opposites, one that often seems clearest in the young.

And then there was Crass. Specifically their album of feminist revelation, 'Penis Envy'. Wow. Everything coalesced for me with this record. Patriarchy exposed. The defiance. The wit and wordplay. The expression of personal truth. It was a brave record, especially in the context of the times - street punk, skinheads, violence. But Crass were militant hippy and punk in equal measure, and to cap that, curiously anti-ideology. That deeply humanist trait appealed hugely, and was as important to me as their feminism and politics.

Crass split in 1984, a couple of years before I knew they even existed. But the echoes of their message resonated loudly, as did the straight edge aggression of Minor Threat and dozens of other bands - for the most part, skinny white boys with guitars. But that was just the beginning - the ever branching tree of music and ideas was still growing. And 'Penis Envy' was not the end of the journey, but the beginning. A journey towards a more nuanced idea and expression of femimism.

This was a feminism shaped more by the reality of the adult world and real-life relationships than by music, art and polemics. A feminism that resists every attempt to put it away safely. A feminism that is about life and respect.